Disclaimer:

I am not an expert on ANYTHING. Therefore, what you see on these pages and in these posts is not intended as anything other than a depository for all of the stuff running around in my head. You will see the good, the bad, and, well....Solomon. It is not my intention to present myself as anything other than a somewhat confused, often wrong-headed participant in this crazy scheme of cobbling together a hobby farm. In fact, it would be best to read this not as a good example, but as a dire warning of what NOT to do.

There are many, many blogs written by folks who have better tools, equipment, judgment, experience, and sense. Read those if you want to learn something. Read this if you want to laugh, roll your eyes, and thank your lucky stars YOU didn't do it.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Conversaton on the Way to the Sleep Study

Me: So.....you realize that you're only going to be there for about 12 hours, right?
Jerry: Yeah, so?
Me: Well, it's just that you're bringing a really big bag. 
Jerry: I have lots of stuff to take.
Me: It's a REALLY big bag--in fact, I think it's bigger than the bag you brought from Kentucky, packed with all your earthly belongings, when you moved here to marry me.
Jerry: Look, I've got a lot of stuff to carry.  They said I could bring my radio, and my pillow, and I need my pills, a change of clothes, body wash, toothpaste.....
Me: I understand that, but yeesh, it's a big bag.  Do you need help with it?
Jerry: It's got wheels, you know.
Me: But just the fact that you NEED a wheely bag.....that's kind of my point.
Jerry: What's it to you?  You don't have to carry it.
Me: Nooo....it rolls. 

(Silence)

Me: That's a huge radio, by the way.  They do make them smaller, you know.  It's not like the 80's, when the bigger the boom box, the cooler you were...
Jerry: Ha!  You're jealous of my big bag.
Me: Not at all.  I just wasn't sure it would fit in the back of the Bug..........Just sayin'.

(Silence.  We arrive at our destination.  We have a few minutes, so I'm reading through the instructions for the sleep study.)

Me: You had iced tea for dinner.  You weren't supposed to have anything with caffeine!
Jerry: Tea doesn't have caffeine.
Me: Yes it does!  Look, right here, the paper says it does!  You haven't even gone in yet, and you've cheated!  Tea cheater!
Jerry: I'm going to be hooked up to a thousand electrodes, some dude's going to be watching every move I make all night, I'm in a strange bed, and you think a little TEA will be the reason I can't sleep?
Me: What if you have to potty in the middle of the night because of all the TEA you drank?  Will you be electrocuted by the electrodes?
Jerry: I don't think they're going to put electrodes THERE, you know.

(Silence, while we contemplate electrode placement.)

Me: Do you want me to walk you in?
Jerry: No, Mom, I think I can make it.
Me: Do you need help with your rolly bag?.............Hon?..............I love you, sleep well!......Jerry? 
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